Exhaustion kicks in. Just under two months and I am so tired. It is 10:11 p.m. and I am considering going to bed. No. Let’s not lie. I am going to bed as soon as I finish this post. I get up with Rob at 6:30 a.m. to be at school an hour early and enjoy the silence.
I realized today that I get not one single minute to myself a day. I am yearning for solitude. I need to collect my thoughts and attempt to be at peace with my hectic world. I have been so careful about building new relationships and making time for Rob that I forgot to make time for me! Even in my hour of silence before class, it isn’t silent. There are other people in the classroom and I am reading for class. Hardly peaceful or thoughtful.
I am going to work this week on making space for 15 minutes of my day of just quiet. No TV. No music. It is so easy for me to fall off the deep end and freak out about the amount I have on my plate, I can’t keep myself steady without making time for just me. I need to be more conscious about making time for writing like this. Writing in this format is cathartic. Writing legal essays is not.
I have gotten my first law school assignment back and which feels… okay. I could have done better, but I definitely could have done worse. I know I could have put more effort into the assignment. And, did I mention, it is ungraded? I am working on deep cleansing breaths and telling myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. It doesn’t matter if I do amazingly my first year if I am so tired in my second year that I just give up.
Always a balancing act. I go to Bible study and worship weekly to keep myself grounded. This weekend, in an act of balancing, I took the day and went apple picking with my family. It was sweltering hot but it had nothing to do with the law and fresh apple cider was included.
And it was Rob’s first time picking apples.