There is a list out there, floating in the internet called, 10 Things You Will Do While Studying for The Bar. I don’t know who wrote it, I am surely not attempting to take credit for it. However, I would like to share it with you, say, YES, all of these things are true.
10 Things Jen Has Done While Studying for the Bar
- Fail a Practice Exam. Yes, it has happened. Multiple times. Even in Crim. CRIM. Where I am supposed to be a beast! Weirdly I passed all of my Evidence essays. No explanation for that insanity. (Note, #1 often coincides with #8 and #10)
- Resent Anyone Who Says You Will Pass. Jen, you work so hard you will pass. You know who works her ass off and didn’t pass? Hillary effing Clinton. Yes, I accept I am a relatively intelligent individual. That is no guarantee when it comes to this. Now shut your face. (Note, #2 often coincides with #8 and #10)
- Abandon Something You Normally Do. How about seeing real people? Wearing makeup? Eating three meals a day? Conditioning my hair? Watching TV that isn’t on the Food Network? Wearing pants? Weird thing. I am the girl with her phone always on LOUD. I think I have had it on silent for almost two months.
- Buy Something Ridiculous. So far: a foam roll for yoga, Marilyn Manson’s Greatest Hits, all of the music off of The Following, several songs in Spanish, 5 of the same exact shirt in different colors, 3 of the exact same skirt in different colors, one of those weird things you can use to make a sock bun (though my hair is not nearly long enough for this), white nail polish, cat treats, my weight in string cheese, several pairs of underwear, the list goes on. Amazon prime makes this one particularly easy.
- Have Some Kind of Sleep Issue. I don’t have a sleep issue. I have an Ambien issue.
- Gain or Lose Weight. 8 pounds up. Crap.
- Pick Up a Weird Habit. Only wearing yoga pants? Becoming convinced that being properly moisturized is a necessity. Shaving my legs daily.. this is really weird for me, since I am practically hairless. Liquid dieting (see #6). Staying up late just to pet Stormy (this happens more regularly than I’d care to admit).
- Drink Alone. Yep. But I am more a Xanax kind of girl (prescribed, of course).
- Have a Weird Run-in with a Stranger. I am pretty isolated, which is good. Otherwise I would have explain to people why I always look like my eyes are bugging out of my head or why I appear to be talking to myself. Also, not exactly a run in with a stranger, but I seem to have lost the ability to carry a conversation. That makes run-ins with most people weird.
- Cry. In my car, on the freeway. In my car, in the driveway. In my car, in the Starbucks drive through. Always in the car. Maybe I should stop driving.