where I go from here, part IV

part I, part II, part III


In just a few weeks I leave for Arizona for five weeks for intensive teacher training. When I come back I will start work at whichever school I have been placed with. Evelyn and Olivia will be about 8 months when I start teacher training, 10 months when I go back to work full time. Somewhere in the middle of that I am hoping to fit in swim lessons.


Decisions about work and family have not been taken lightly. One of the easiest parts of walking away from law was that I knew it would be a good choice for my future family. Teaching is going to provide us with a lifestyle that Rob and I are much more comfortable with. Working and parenting is such a controversial issue, with everyone having the “right” opinion. Well, first, let me say this. I want to go back to work. I want to work. I need to work, for me. Second, even if I didn’t want to, it isn’t an option for us. Rob and I need to be a two-income family. Rob’s income is not enough to support us all unless we plan to live with my parents indefinitely. As much as we love my parents, that isn’t an option either.


I have had many, many questions about what I am going to do with Evie and Liv once I go back to work. I find this incredibly frustrating. Clearly, I am going to leave them on the porch with a sign that says, free to a good home. Rob would never get questions like this. He is expected to support the family. Way to perpetuate gender stereotypes, yo.


So, what am I going to do with the girls? I am usually a quick decision maker. I know what I want. But I have gone back and forth between nanny and daycare 500 million times. Today I am 75% nanny, 25% daycare. Because it is two babies it is roughly the same cost to do either nanny or daycare. The girls are currently in daycare 8 hours a week so I can get TFA pre-work done. They are doing very well and seem to enjoy being there. My one main complaint is the colds. So. many. colds. I like that they will get interaction with other kids and different adults if they continue to do daycare. However, if we do a nanny they will be getting much more one-on-one attention and much fewer colds. But then they won’t be interacting with other kids and likely be in the house a majority of the time. I don’t know if we will be living near a park or museum or library.. add to this that I don’t know where we will be living and probably won’t until July.. it’s easy to understand why I am feeling a bit tense. But I think, since my parents are willing to take the girls one day a week, a nanny will provide us with more flexibility with regard to scheduling. Now all I need to do is find a nanny..

IMG_6070This is where I am going. Where we are going. I am nervous and excited and stressed. And excited. And nervous. And overwhelmed.

I can do this. We can do this!


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