Since I started law school I have been having trouble with tension and pain in my right shoulder.  It has everything to do with how I sit and how I drive and I have been working on that endlessly.  Sitting up straight, taking breaks, stretching my shoulder out, the whole shebang.  But my shoulder muscles get to a point where they are so stretched and tense that they just will not chill.  Even my muscles need to be told to calm down.

I first went to a chiropractor.  I had never been before and it was an interesting experience.  Lots of popping and cracking and such and working with the muscles around my shoulder blade.  It worked for awhile, but I ended up at a physical therapist.  And they agreed with my chiropractor, that it is down to my posture.  Mainly, that it currently involves sitting at a desk for hours on end.  Lets be honest, the rest of my life is going to involve sitting at a desk for hours on end.  The physical therapists massaged and stretched and taught me exercises and I was fine for about a year.

I don’t know if I have been working longer hours or have slipped back into bad habits, but the pain is back again and while it is definitely bearable, it is just annoying enough for me to want to do something about it.  I discussed it with my new doctor at my women’s yearly exam (fun times for everyone) and she wrote me a referral for acupuncture.

Um. What?

I am not opposed to alternative medicine or holistic healing or whatever the PC term is these days, I’d just never thought of it.  I sat on the referral for a couple of weeks because, really, I didn’t have time for more appointments in my life and I knew that it wasn’t going to be one appointment and badaboom I am cured.  But my shoulder was irritating me enough that I finally called my insurance and yes! they cover acupuncture. An hour later I had an appointment.

I googled extensively so I would know what to expect.  Acupuncturists often use a variety of techniques that were all foreign to me, but all the websites assured me that it was painless, so I thought, what is the worst that could happen?  A slightly weird experience and continued shoulder pain.  I was fine with that.

Well.  The experience was weird, but not off the charts weird.  Not even as weird as that time I saw a man dressed as a sea captain from the 1800s in Starbucks.

The acupuncture wasn’t just painless,  I couldn’t feel it at all.  Had he not told me there were needles all over my shoulder, I would have had no idea.  And it was nice lying under the heat lamp for awhile (I am always cold).

He didn’t just do acupuncture.  He also did cupping therapy.  I had read about cupping on the website and I knew it involved suctioning of the skin, but somehow I missed that it involved FIRE.  So when I heard an open flame above my shoulder (couldn’t see a thing!) all I thought was, Oh dear, please don’t light my hair on fire!

I am pleased to say he didn’t light my hair on fire, but I did leave with some excellent souvenirs (which, according to the interwebs and the acupuncturist, are totally normal).
right after

24 hours later

My shoulder pain has decreased significantly.  Like, for reals people. If I weren’t the one with the pain, I wouldn’t believe it. But here I am, with almost no pain in my shoulder and a follow up appointment for next Tuesday.

I will report back next week on my continued foray into this new world.

Remember when I said this semester was going to be nice and light? Ha!

In other news, I haven’t had the time nor the inclination to write as of late.  I know that it is something that I should do regularly, whether or not there is something to say, so here I am.  Let’s just call this a stream of consciousness update.

My weekends and time not accounted for are rapidly shrinking as I chug on towards summer.  I have packed weekends and have taken multi-tasking to a new level of insanity.  In return, I feel as if I am doing nothing well, and barely accomplishing most things.  The image of someone spinning plates on poles comes to mind.

My mom, in her enduring wisdom, decided that because we are moving in with them for the Bar, we needed a brand new bathroom.  With an extra deep bathtub.  Well, no one has ever bought me a bathroom before, but after a bath in the tub with the new special “ambient” lighting, I must agree that it is the BEST. GIFT. EVER.

Am I the only one of my friends from college not pregnant?  Not even close.  But Facebook sure makes it feel that way. I tell myself: Not until after the Bar.  Not until after the Bar.  No babies while studying for the Bar.

Stormy has been exceptionally needy lately and has regressed to only drinking out of the shower instead of his fancy fountain that supplies endless, clean, fresh water.  I think he might be feeling lonely even though I snuggle him all the time.

I had my yearly physical today.  It was cold.  And long.

Over and out.

Sometimes you are down in the dumps and feeling sorry for yourself.  Sometimes you are overcome by January blues and just want to sleep all day.  Sometimes you are so overwhelmed by what is to come that you forget that the day to day is actually going pretty well.

And sometimes, wham, something great comes along and smacks you in the face.  And you are so blindsided by it that you don’t even know what to do.  Laugh or cry or go on pretending like it never happened?

Well, today I chose the latter.  I can’t really grasp it still.  I want to hold on loosely; for fear that it might slip away.  But I also want to tell people.  So I am in this weird conundrum where I tell people, but make it really awkward so no one knows how to respond.  Way to go, Jen.

And here I sit.  Wanting to say it, but not.  Just in case.  Eeeep.

I officially have a job after I take the bar.

So.  There’s that.

image by Stefan Sagmeister via Trust Us Online, via This isn’t Happiness 

As any law student will tell you, finals time is tough.  You question yourself, your sanity, and your ability to continue.  This time around was no different for me, except I got some bad news right in the middle of my exams.  So, it was a little less fun than it usually is.  But, that is neither here nor there right now.  Right now, I am in thousands of miles away from Rob, pining away.

It is exceptionally easy for me to take Rob for granted, day in and day out.  He is there when I wake up and when I go to sleep, just getting through the day like I am.  It is even easier when I am in finals.  I am in survival mode.  Nothing matters but what comes next.  And next and next.  I don’t see  Rob for what he is.  The extraordinary person that is he is hidden by the minutiae of my every day.

He keeps me from sinking into the abyss.  I am tethered to him in a way that is inexplicable.  And here I am, apart from him for the first time in almost two years and I realize what I haven’t been noticing since November.  I have been a drone, waking up, getting it done, over and over.  And really, there is nothing to say, except that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.  I truly hate when people say, “I married my best friend.”  Sorry for all of you out there that feel that way about your spouse, but Rob and I were never friends.  I told him right from the get go that I had no interest in being his friend.  I wanted something more from that from him.  All or nothing.  Thankfully, he came around to my way of thinking.  I have girl friends and best friends but I only have one Rob.  One husband.

We all bring baggage to the table.  For me, my anxiety is always behind the scenes, threatening to bubble over.  He is there, even keeled, keeping me steady.  Willing to wait for me to talk or willing to listen to me talk endlessly.  All I can hope is that I can provide him  with the same kind of steady reassurance that he provides me.

And I can always write him blog posts so he knows how much he is loved.

And then there was that time almost a month went by without me posting.

In that time, there has been family visiting, Thanksgiving, engagements, and finals.  A lot of finals.  So for now, there is this (for those who know me in facebook land, sorry for the redundancy):