First weekend of Bar study. Yeesh.
Thursday it started with a late night call from my mom. Grandpa. Come soon.
We’ve known. And we’ve grown weary of knowing and being anxious and waiting and things looking up and then falling right back down. It is still soon. But as to how soon, no one knows.
He is tired. We are tired. I think mom is the most tired. It is a difficult place to be, to see someone you love and know they are just.. ready. But he is. I think of how scary it must be. And how scared he must be.
Nana isn’t ready to let go. He hangs on for her.
I hurtled into my first day of study on little sleep and my thoughts elsewhere. To be honest, they go to my mom more than anyone at times like this. She has been fighting for the both of them for so long and she is so tired. And at this point, it is close enough that legal documents need to be consulted, signed, notarized. Over and over.
Jen, do you know…?
No. I really don’t. I wish I did.
And I cry and I tell him I will make him proud. “We will have a lawyer in the family,” he says to me from his hospital bed.
I smile and think, I hope so..
More on actual Bar study soon..