A little less than a week ago I just sat down in my bathroom and cried. And cried, and cried. Everyone says it gets easier and in some ways it does, but in some ways it gets harder. I am tired. There is plenty to say about life with two three month olds and I will try to say it, but I am tired. More tired than I have ever been.
Let’s break this down..
1) Sleep – Currently we feed the girls after dinner (somewhere between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.). We then attempt to get them to go to sleep. This can be a long process. We are lucky if everyone is asleep by 11 p.m. Then we are up again at 3 a.m. We feed them, change them, etc. and are hopefully back in bed by 4 a.m. Then they are up again at 6 a.m. Praise be to God that almost every morning all I have to do at 6 a.m. is wake up my parents and hand them babies. I then go back to sleep until 9:30 a.m. Rob is not so lucky. We are definitely spoiled because we have my parents, but I definitely am feeling the lack of sleep.
2) Food – I gave up on breastmilk last week. It was a hard decision that I still don’t feel 100% about. I just wasn’t making enough to justify continually spending a couple hours a day pumping. Those are hours that could be spent napping. Or cleaning. Or bathing people. They are getting formula now. I know that it isn’t going to kill them but I kind of feel like I suck at being a mom because I only made it 3 months. Also, speaking from experience, breastmilk tastes fine, kind of sweet. Formula tastes gross. So.. there’s that.
3) Growth – My little chunks are on either side of 11 pounds! Olivia is 11 lb 6 oz. Evelyn is 10 lb 13 oz. They have fat wrists and thighs and cheeks. They look like real babies more each day.
4) Personality – Both girls are big smilers and are right on the verge of laughing. It kills me. They are relatively happy babies. Life would be a breeze with just one of them. Olivia continues to be the louder of the two, but Evie is closer to laughing. They recognize voices and faces and they definitely know mom and dad.
5) Sanity – This week has been a good week. There have been bad weeks. And really bad days. Days where I felt like everyone who said, “it gets easier” deserved to be punched. Days where it felt like I was never going to be able to manage. So, what has saved me? My older sister. My birth group. My mom. Rob. Rob continues to keep me afloat when I feel like I am coming apart. I like to think I do the same for him. Jillian just recently was able to connect me with other moms of multiples and I feel like it is going to be a game changer. Like I said though, this has been a good week. A week where the smiles and coos far outweigh the crying and the lack of sleep.
6) Marriage – Rob and I have rarely turned on each other. We are a united front. Sometimes it does feel like it is us against them. Them being the little crazy people who think staying awake all night is awesome. But I was in for a rude awakening when I went to get birth control after having the girls. I have loved that I keep getting to see my OB. I have not loved the limited options because I was breastfeeding. Not anymore! Muahahaha. Rob and I are mainly able to grab some time together to snuggle.. nothing more.. in the middle of the night. But it keeps us connected. The rest can wait.
And now it is time.. for a month of cuteness.
Olivia | Evelyn
Evelyn | Olivia
I can easily tell the girls apart right now and I actually want to get them tested to confirm that they are identical. Rob thinks I am crazy. Evelyn has a much rounder head than Olivia. My OB told me this could just be down to how they were positioned in the womb..
The girls are getting much more alert and active and right now it is a struggle to keep them entertained because they aren’t capable of much. I thought this might work.. Clearly they are still a bit small for it! We put it away, hopefully in another month they will be ready.