Just blue

The truth is, I have nothing witty or compelling to share today. I am just blue. No particular reason.

It is still cold in Plymouth. I had been hoping against hope that it would start to get warmer, but we have just been hit with another week of frozen mornings. Sometimes the thought of getting up day after day to put on two pairs of pants just kills me.

Rob and I are doing nothing tonight, we are both just beat. I am listening to this which usually puts me in a better mood but it is just making me more melancholy. It is making me miss here.

I feel like I need to write, but I just don’t know what I need to say right now. I can’t get it out just yet. If you hadn’t figured it out yet, most of this writing I do is for me, not you. It is my chosen method of catharsis. I write to better understand how I feel and move on.

I am tired of waiting. The summer before I went off to college nearly killed me. I was so ready for new possibilities and a new place, I felt so stuck where I was. That same old feeling has come back with vengeance.  All this planning and preparing for our move sometimes just reminds me that we are nowhere near it. Sure, I get to call shipping companies and ask for quotes. And man is it fun to spend endless hours on the phone with vets in California, but when do I actually get to move?

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I get to spend the day deciding which clothes get donated to charity and which ones come with us.

fuck.

PS – I also write because some of the shit that happens to a foreigner is fucking funny.

PPS – I am obviously not ready to achieve the goals of my previously mentioned blog.

PPPS – Actually the thought of showing up here, with my tendency to swear like a Brit may have just made my day. Only in England would it be appropriate to share with the office that the, “Fucking printer is fucking jammed again.” love it.

PPPPS – true story.

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