We found out that I was pregnant on Christmas Eve.  I found out that I lost the baby this morning.

The statistics for miscarriage are depressingly high, especially this early on.  It doesn’t make it hurt any less.  I am in shock.  I had worked very hard to let myself be “okay” either way and not get attached until the 12 week mark. But I had bleeding at 6 weeks and got to see the heartbeat.  I convinced myself I was out of the woods.  I started buying maternity clothes and thinking about baby showers.

I had light bleeding this morning so I dragged myself back to the OB, assuming nothing was wrong.  I didn’t even have Rob with me.  And there it was.. or wasn’t.  No heartbeat.

So here I am, another statistic.  One of the many, many women that has to go through this.

Right now, I feel as if I am waiting to breathe again.


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