Show Your Bones

I currently weigh less than I have ever weighed in my adult life.  The last time I weighed this I believe I was 15, if not 14.  I’ve lost just over 50 pounds.  What I am starting to notice is that I have bones.  Lots of them.  My collarbones are starting to poke out.  I am definitely not emaciated in any way (in fact, I am still considered Obese by BMI standards), but I can feel these bones in a way I never have before.  When I lay down I can actually feel my hipbones starting to take shape.  It is starting to become obvious that there is something quite solid under there. I am still a long ways away from where I would like to land weight-wise, but this is an interesting development that I hadn’t really thought about.  I keep finding myself thinking, Can thin people feel all of their bones??? Which, aside from the very small ones, I am sure this is true.

I have been very happy that I had surgery thus far.  I have lost over 50 pounds in three months, which is astonishing.  I have more energy.  I never believed that crap when people would say, “Since losing weight I have so much more energy!” Rubbish.  The truth of the matter is that I do.  But not in the way expected.  I still love sleep and would happily sleep 9 hours every night.  The difference is I am much more alert in the time that I am awake.  And if I don’t get as much sleep as I want, I am still ready to function in the morning.  I am down to one cup of coffee a day.  When I drink more I start to feel like I am going to come out of my skin.  I used to have two coffees and a diet coke a day.

I still eat.  No, I don’t eat like a “normal” person, but I eat.  My meals consist of lean protein and dairy mainly.  I take multivitamins and am working on getting more fruits and vegetables in my diet.  I am open to ideas!  I find it really difficult to cook a meal that I can eat and enjoy that will also be enough food for Rob.

Though there are many things I am not supposed to have, I have little desire for most of them.  Prime example: bread.  I am not supposed to have many carbs in my diet.  So, no bread.  And it doesn’t bother me in the least.  I eat lunchmeat wrapped around cheese.  That is plenty for me.  I also know that if I eat the bread I will have room for nothing else.  So my meal will have consisted of nothing but bread.  Thanks, but no thanks.  What generally ends up happening is that if we are out to dinner and I would like a bite of the rolls, I ask for a bite of Rob’s and I am done.

I am not going to lie and say that I feel that way about all foods.  I will likely never again be able to eat a hamburger, bun and all.  And I love me some IN N OUT. But, generally a couple bites is enough to make me not feel completely morose about the situation.  I have also learned that if I come prepared with food that I can eat and do enjoy, I am less sad about the fact that I can’t eat what is offered.  This means that I generally carry turkey with me wherever I go, but I am getting used to it.  The one area that still poses difficulty for me is dessert.  Sugar free ice cream is NOT the same.  I drink a lot.  That is my solution.

And by drink I mean sugar free chocolate milk.  Yeah, it gets crazy up here in the Ford household.

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