Rob and I are maybe, possibly, probably moving (official announcement when the lease is signed). We are going from a sleepy little town with almost nothing in it (we only have three Starbucks. I mean, come on) to an over-the-top bustling city. We haven’t lived in a big city since we lived in London. And yes, I know most of you are like, don’t you live in LA? We live in LA County. It’s a big place. I am not telling you my address thankyouverymuch.
And with planning to move back to a city means difference. Changes. We have gotten used to where we live. This is the longest we have ever lived someplace together, ever. This is the longest I have lived in one place since high school. We are pretty nomadic and given that neither of us have packrat tendencies, it is fine. But I am nervous. Excited nervous, but still nervous. Our time in London sucked. Royally.
There were a lot of things about London that made me feel as if I was constantly gasping for air. The cramped quarters that we lived made me feel as if I was feeling suffocated. I look back and still don’t know how we survived our first year of marriage in a studio flat in a bad part of town. Our flat was smaller than my dorm rooms were in college. I had trouble feeling like I could never actually see the sky. I grew up in suburbia. Green grass, picket fences, the whole shebang.
Part of me worries that moving back to the city will cause this whole suffocation feeling that I really am not eager to repeat. But I remind myself of the differences. We will have a car. We will have a bedroom and a living room and a kitchen. We are fancy, y’all. And I am reminding myself of why we are moving. Cheaper rent. Actual nightlife, friends included! Better apartment. Actual things and places within walking distance. Rob and I used to love going on late evening walks, where we are moving will be amazing for that.
One of things that Rob misses desperately about England is the neighborhood pub. We just don’t have that kind of thing where we live now. And, I admit, we don’t really have the same culture regarding pubs and grabbing a pint after work that there is in England, but where we are moving has not one, but several pubs within walking distance. Hurrah!
And wood floors, and a great hospital, and places to study, and carpooling opportunities.
Sometimes, maybe I am just nervous for the sake of being nervous. I think nervous is the state at which I idle.
Eventually, I take the leap.